Disclaimer: This post is from , a satirical site about healthcare.
ATLANTA -- The CDC issued a statement recommending that doctors and nurses should now use baby diapers for personal protective equipment (PPE). Given the widespread national shortages of N95 respirator masks, there has been a frantic search for a widely available alternative.
"We have been looking at a number of alternatives for the standard PPE," CDC stated. "We evaluated a variety of items such as surgical masks, Halloween masks, dental dams, and baby diapers. In our extensive 2-day study, we found that surgical masks are too porous to prevent spread of the COVID-19 virus, and Halloween masks are in too short supply at this time of year. Dental dams seemed promising initially, but when we field-tested, we found that doctors had to keep touching their faces to hold them in place."
Megan Johnson, MD, who worked at the CDC's pandemic response team until 2018, and is a mother of twins, contacted the CDC director with a possible solution.
"Since our department was disbanded in 2018, I have been a stay-at-home mother to twin boys. In the course of their 2 years, these boys have had a total 174.5 episodes of explosive poop. In only two cases did the diaper fail to contain the episode," Johnson said. "It was apparent that the baby diaper needed to be evaluated as a possible alternative PPE. In addition to containment of tremendous particulate matter, it can easily be fastened around one's face with the Velcro tabs."